Creating Interest In Others

How do you interest someone who badly needs a better moral code in his or her life , but doesn't seem interested enough to even read some of the data?  Some have asked me this question recently and I've decided to publish some of my thoughts on this.

First, "Why do people choose (or not choose) a moral code?"  First, they would have to recognize some problem in their life -- some sort of question about making some sort of decision -- a moral decision.  Or you want to feel better about yourself.  Something is ruining their life. Their life is in ruins.

Then they would have to understand what effect the level of morality in society has just now, and see how that might impact on THEIR life.  It might make them miss work, or play, or feel pain, or whatever.  More likely they have an unhappy marriage, or spoiled kids, or relationship problems.

They may feel cheated by the "powers that be," including the government.

Whatever this thing is, it causes some effect.

What is that effect on the person?

Then they would have to realize that it could get worse.  If they didn't think it would get worse, they would probably just put up with it.  If they think it could get worse, they might be interested in some change.

Next is just that.  They must be interested in some change in the standards of morality around them, even those close to them.  Sometimes people are just stuck in the despair of thinking that everything is going to get worse -- and that actually happens.  "Just above" this state of mind is the state where you think, "I wish something would change."

This is NOT a high level state of being -- you just wish things could change.  It is almost like ANY change would be better from this terrible condition where you think things are ONLY getting worse.

The kid next door is using pot.  The terrorists are killing innocent children.  Taxes are too high -- and welfare is too high also.  There are just MANY factors in life that are "wrong."

That graduates into a strong feeling that they MUST do something to improve, not just change.  They are now demanding (of themselves, not yet their neighbor) that they improve their life.  They make the "MORAL" decision to get on a better diet and start exercising.  Those are moral decisions.

But, they notice that people around them are NOT eating good food -- they are eating junk food and costing the taxpayer billions of dollars on government-paid health care.  It is not right!

You demand!  You don't think this is right -- around you.  You demand an improvement, not just a change.

You might even get angry.

It is NOT enough to change, you want an improvement in your life and you demand it.

But, at this point they are "below" hope. That is, they probably don't have any hope that any improvement is possible.  They may not think this, but generally they do.

Hope is where you start looking OUT, instead of looking inward.  Your eye wanders across the horizon, wondering if hope is possible.  You make some efforts, you work at it, but until you HAVE hope you twitch and wiggle, but don't do anything very useful to yourself -- at least you are twitching.

Next, they have to believe that hope is valid, but then they worry about whether anyone can help them.  After all, they did not get help whenever they descended into this poor morals, including the planet  -- or they and society wouldn't have arrived at the state of poor morality.  They are now moving UPWARD from the situation where they are just beginning to recognize the effects, or that it could get worse, etc.

Help? What an empty feeling when you want some and haven't found it yet -- then what a wonderful change when someone takes your hand -- offers help.

For a while you may place your trust in the bible, or some preacher, or whatever, but when you spend some time in that comfort, you look around you and find that conditions have not changed for the better.  The society is going down the tubes, faster than ever it seems.

Hope?  Help?  Where can you find it?

Once you are looking for help, that is the point where a friend can say, "John, I've found this web site that has information that might help you."

I, Karl Loren, offer to be your friend -- I offer help.  This Associate Program offers YOU a chance to help.  There is no more noble cause in life!  You can help others only when you feel reasonably good about yourself.  But, when you DO feel good about yourself, then the only way you can feel better is to help others.

If the person is "below" the level of looking for help, he won't generally go looking at some web site.  Some people are so "hopeless" that it makes no sense to offer help.  They know there is no hope -- and know that with certainty.

There is hardly anything so frustrating to be so certain, yourself, that you know how to help someone, but that "someone" refuses help.  The answer is to find that person on the above scale -- spot him or her accurately and simply talk about that level, and "bring them up."

Recognize that for some it may be impossible.  Some people are beyond your talents.  Some people want to die -- you should recognize this when you see it.

A huge rule on this is to take your successes from quantity of people contacted rather than toil and sweat to work on one.  Quantity of contacts, not quality or willingness, will be your measure of success.  Look for the next one when THIS one is slow.

You can spend 10 days moving someone up this scale by one notch -- but in that 10 days you might find 100 people who will move so quickly that they all reach a level of seeking help.

So, don't get caught up in the failures -- look for the next one.

So, when you are aware of someone's morals problem, or aware that he is complaining about the morals of others, you should first figure that maybe HE IS NOT AWARE!  He may be lower on this scale, but wherever he is he is NOT looking for help, or your help.

So, you try to spot where on the above scale he might be, and then just "talk him up" the scale.  But, don't spend too much time on this one.

You could take five minutes or five days on each level, just talking about one level, until he agrees he is AT that level.  Then you "talk about" the next level up.

You do that, over five minutes, five hours, five days or five months -- whatever is necessary to get him "UP" to the level of looking for help.

At that point he is ready to see HOW help is being given, all over the planet, by people just like HIM.  The idea that he might be able to help will probably be a novel one for him.

You have not won the victory yet. He may sign up to be an Associate, or ask for more information, but there is now another set of obstacles he must face.

He "knows" that all sorts of "do gooders" have techniques of delivering the promised land -- but, if he looks honestly he also knows that none of these super solutions has had any track record of success!

You may know the truth about this question, but really this question shows that he has some data that is very important to him, maybe not to you.  You might not even know the answer on this.  But, recognize that there is some fixed idea that HE is very FIXED on.  It isn't that he just "says" this -- he says it with volume and emotion.  Fixed ideas are extremely common in our society -- for more on that, click here.

He speaks with emotional intensity -- says, "You know, there are many cheats among those who preach morality and you have to find the honest and effective ones, not the false ones!"

But SPOTTING that fixed and important data is vital for you.

You can get it simply by asking, "What would a good moral code have to do if it is going to help you?"  You are after the emotional answer.  You can and will get an avalanche of data, often.

People have believed for thousands of years that, "If you will only take Jesus into your heart, you will be saved!"  That may be true, but not many are taking Jesus into their hearts, and in any event, the world is in desperate shape for a common sense code of morals that people start actually following.

If they have "false" moral codes, and try to follow those, they run into obstacles and problems.

Probably that answer is a fixed and false idea.  Many of them are false.   This is a good time to take that answer and let him know that you are going to "look more into this one you were thinking of."  You retire from the scene -- you ask me, or you look on my web, but what you need now is something that shows that his fixed criteria is NOT valid.

For instance so-called "situational ethics."  HERE is a thorough destruction of that as a type of moral code!

 goes through more chemical processes than synthetic vitamin E.  You might look for the proof on this, show him, and help him rid himself of some false fixed idea that was standing in the way of his getting real help.

He has to shed his false ideas before he can accept true data. You may have to FIND his false data before you can bring him an expose of that data -- he can then be free to accept true data.

There are many moral codes, but every one suffers from one or several of very terminal errors.

There is ONE common sense moral code -- the code in The Way To Happiness book.  You really shouldn't be concerning yourself with whether or not you want to become an Associate if you don't already understand this truth.  If you don't quite accept that yet?  Well, get the book and read it, or re-read it. 

If you are not at all familiar with The Way To Happiness book?

Right away you are likely to throw this stuff in the waste basket -- you would know that I am a kook!  You won't read or listen any further.

In other words, the person has run into the false data in his mind -- false data that got there because someone he trusted, such as a priest, or his mother, or whoever, told him that this was true -- "It's OK to steal from someone who has stolen from you!"

Tjos data conflicts with the data he has had from an earlier source.  Probably that earlier data comes from someone who is an "authority" while I am not more than "the guy in California."

If you want to help him here is what must happen.

You find out what data he believes to be true -- data that conflicts with data in The Way To Happiness book. Then you find out where that data came from.  It is not easy because very often he will say "everyone knows" morals can't be taught, or you can't help people change.

Even if he got it from  Rev. X, if you ask him "where" and he says, "Dr. Y said this," that is a start.

So, now the job is to discredit Dr. Y, and show that his data about morals  is NOT true. That may handle it, or he may "discover" that it was really Rev. X who said it.  Your job is still the same -- discredit Rev. X on this.  Obviously you cannot discredit someone who speaks the truth.

You may not know how to refute the data which he claims is true -- you can ask me.  You can study my web pages.  Or, you can go on to the next person.

You can read some of my views, and then ask him how Dr. Y feels about this.  For instance, ask him, "Do you know that most guidance of morals suggest that "turning the other cheek" is the best means of handling a terrorist?"

Maybe he had not heard false data on this -- so he can accept this from Karl (or you).

He may be willing to examine that datum and realize that he has picked away a tiny piece of the lie he has been believing.

This is not a fast action, but if he doesn't pursue it with you, you may find that he has "fallen backwards" on the scale I first described.  Check him out.  Maybe he is back down to a level where he feels that change would be OK, but is not vital for him.  He can put up with the immorality, or wherever may be.

You start over, talking about whatever level he may be on, and bringing him up the scale to "help" again -- and then you could say, "Well you can get some help from TWTH book, but you should first examine what he says about morals and see where you can find something you disagree with."

He does, or does not.

He finds something, and handles that, or he does not.

Luckily for me, there are many people who are high on this scale and discard false information easily -- they become Associates quickly.

Finally, he becomes a "believer."  He reads this and related other web sites, and the book,  and finds that it is true -- he is now close to making a rational decision to make the modest monthly donation of $30!

He may fall into some other trap == like thinking that he can find the same type of moral satisfaction, elsewhere, cheaper, or feeling that it is just too expensive, no matter how good it is.  He may have all sorts of negative thoughts crowding in on him.

He may be all comfortable with my information, but then run into some new false data -- "My neighbor says you should intrude into the private lives of others!"  or some such.  I have answers for all this stuff, but you may not know those answers.

You can always go on to the next person.

You can just also go back on that original scale.

When he expresses some negative thought, he has also probably fallen down to a level where he thinks he can "live with the pain," or that "well, no one can really help me, anyway!"

There is no magic bullet in all of this process.  You have to be patient and care for him to take this time with him.

You would probably not spend this time for money -- that is not the motivation it would take to convince this person to help others by giving them the common sense moral code.

You must love him or her -- want him or her to be better -- to be in a condition of better life.

It is not easy, but the above is the path.

When you do this successfully, it is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world -- you have been a genuine help to someone who needed that help.  Further, you have helped someone learn to help another, and only this way can the success spread to the world.

You wouldn't do this for money, but I'll bet you would like to be recognized for doing this -- and a modest money commission, and standing in your success might be a nice little prize you would appreciate.

The Associate Program recognizes those who succeed in persuading others to take charge of their life, and help others improve theirs.

You can be a valuable asset in someone else's life.

Join the Associate Program and go forth!  Save the world, or at least your neighbors.

Well, click here and go direct to the source.

Karl Loren